Can it stay put or does it have to go?
ZG Retromops Zucht
Vom Alten Backofen
Does that have to go, or can it stay put?
or
Swap expectations for respect, tolerance and empathy
Digression human:
Expectations - when do we actually start?
It's not like that from the start. For example, we don't expect anything from infants. You just sit there and are open to what happens next. Yes, you just let it happen.
But it only takes a few weeks and everyone starts to expect things.
Rules, specifications, laws, plans, goals, plans, resolutions, standards, etc.
Is that what we expect? That we stick to all these things that are so "clearly" regulated?
There is no question that people in families, groups and societies adhere to rules. But what does all this have to do with our expectations and the expectations of others?
What are expectations?
Have you ever seriously asked yourself that?
We humans can only expect something that we already know, that we have already experienced.
From our experience, we know how certain situations "feel". From now on, we automatically expect everyone else to know this too.
Feeling is the key word here!
Nobody knows what another person feels!
Nobody has the right to expect that even a single feeling of another is exactly as you have felt yourself.
They can be similar, but nobody feels the same.
Our personal experiences go through all of our own ER life filters and then we create expectations that we set for our partners, children, families, friends, colleagues, employees, bosses, etc.
  • We expect you to know how we feel.Sometimes it is a heartfelt wish that someone can see how much I want to be hugged.
  • We expect you to know what to say to us.Sometimes it's just a heartfelt wish not to have to say it yourself.
  • We expect you to know that we say yes but mean NO.Sometimes it's just a heartfelt wish that someone may see the exhaustion in your eyes.
  • We expect them to feel the same way we feel our own ME.Sometimes it is just a heartfelt wish to be understood.
We tumble between ourselves, expectations of others, tolerance and empathy.
This is probably the case for all people.
One thing is certain:
Empathy would be the best thing - but not everyone has this special talent and that's completely ok!
Respect and tolerance are available to everyone and, to put it nicely, they are often just as good.We just have to use it.
Back to the dog:
All these soliloquies and misleading expressions do not exist in dogs. Dogs are clear, consistent and purposeful.

Respect, tolerance and empathy also exist in the dog world and are good advisers here too.

Unlike babies, most people have expectations of an 8 week old puppy. Certainly even.

In the first few days, these are not yet so firmly established or even consciously present, but for most of them, with the arrival of the new roommate, it suddenly becomes clear that there are still expectations.
We expect the little puppy to follow the family rules.
Ok, that there will be pee and other mishaps is clear to everyone, but when the first remote control has blessed the time and therefore the beloved TV evening has to pass, the end of fun! After all, everyone knows - remote controls, telephone cables, shoes, keys and the like are not chewing toys!
Dogs learn by reward. This is also possible through self-reward such as chewing with a remote control. The puppy will then weave the place of discovery, e.g. living room table, as positive and will from now on look for other great toys.
The only thing that helps here now is to make sure that there is nothing on the table for the next few months. This way the link can be deleted.
It should be explicitly mentioned that this only works if it is consistently prevented that the living room table becomes the next podium on a podium by further remote controls or (worse) chocolate.
Conclusion: If you expect the dog not to steal the remote control from the living room table, then you must not leave it there until the puppy has learned that it cannot simply take something that is lying around somewhere.

There are many ways to achieve this goal. Many roads lead to Rome - you decide whether you want to go by car, take the train or the plane.
Your dog trainer can advise you on this.
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